SIKANKU: Does Chelsea really need Kaka?

Chelsea needs to finish off all the foreplay by poaching players with proven penetrative abilities.

By Etse Sikanku

This morning, I woke up to news that Chelsea is planning a swoop for Madrid and Brazilian midfield star, Kaka. Not that my opinion matters at Stamford Bridge. After all, they’ve just made history by winning a cup double. Ancelotti has done what almighty Jose Mourinho, the demigod of the blues, couldn’t do. And for the Italian to have done this only in his first year on the job is truly remarkable.

But Chelsea does not need another Michael Ballack. Ballack, for all his reputation typifies the ageing (think Drogba, Anelka, Deco,) and blunted (think Kalou, Obi, Sturridge) group of Chelsea players who need to be cleared out if the club is to make any headway in the Champions league next season.

Terry and Lampard can make all the noise about a historical domestic double but in between those lines we all know they’d readily switch both cups for a Champions league medal. In fact, it’s no secret that these domestic trophies became only a consolation target after missing out on Europe’s biggest prize.

So it’s understandable that Kaka—a champions league winner in 2007—has become a major target. But after a disappointing season at Madrid, this fellow is way past his time. Greeted with pomp and pageantry (and of course the cash) on his arrival at Madrid, Kaka has failed to meet expectations at the El Bernabéu.

You’d think that after Shevchenko’s (another Milan alumni) disappointing gig at the bridge, Chelsea will be wiser. Should the move materialize, this will be no different from Ronaldinho’s move to Milan, Henry’s to Barca or Berbatov’s switch to United last season. If football is romantic—as Barcelona and Arsenal have often shown—then why seek intercourse when a player is all but de- flowering.

I mean, all things being equal, don’t we all like our girls fresh, ripe and at their prime? What Chelsea needs are players at their peak; virgin players who haven’t been overused or mutilated. Or at worst flowering players with sweet attractive footballing nectar. The likes of Villa, Silva and Torres who will massage balls, wow opponents and mesmerize their supporters to full climax. Truth be told: Abramovich wants that European trophy as badly as any team in Europe. And to capture it, Chelsea needs to finish off all the foreplay with excellent penetration next season.

After coaching him in Milan, does Ancelotti know a thing or two about Kaka that we don’t know? Or is this just about a sentimental re-union? Don’t forget that the Chelsea coach also wants AC Milan pair Alexandre Pato and Thiego Silva at the Bridge. Is Ancelotti simply trying to save the careers of his former players, create another Milan in England or does he really think these are players Chelsea needs? Simply, is Kaka a good buy for Chelsea? Should he be their prime target or should they focus on other better players?